Matilda (1996)

Dir. Danny DeVito

"Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse."

(Source: spikefuckingjonze)

16,445 notes

transdimensionalboundaries:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

WALNUT.

transdimensionalboundaries:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

WALNUT.

(Source: biencorrect)

374,436 notes

peterfromtexas:

The anthropologists decided that this tribe was to remain “uncontacted”

peterfromtexas:

The anthropologists decided that this tribe was to remain “uncontacted”

(Source: best-of-imgur)

840 notes

thethespacecoyote:

ineloquentformalities:

boygeorgemichaelbluth:

funoftheday:

Instead of caramel apples this Halloween, melt jolly ranchers in a 250 degree oven for around 5 minutes, then pour over your apples. Add edible glitter for the sparkling space effect!

this is kind of genius

WHOA

NIGHT VALE APPLES

thethespacecoyote:

ineloquentformalities:

boygeorgemichaelbluth:

funoftheday:

Instead of caramel apples this Halloween, melt jolly ranchers in a 250 degree oven for around 5 minutes, then pour over your apples. Add edible glitter for the sparkling space effect!

this is kind of genius

WHOA

NIGHT VALE APPLES

92,911 notes

alamogirl80:

paralol:

i love how at the end he nods his head encouragingly like 

‘i fucking nailed that, i am merida, now talk’ 

This is still Gimli imitating Legolas and no one can convince me otherwise…

(Source: notgoodwolf)

543,937 notes

theirhappystory:

The amazingly talented amandaecs contacted me a few weeks ago saying she was working on a piece inspired by my fic “With Our Backs to the Wall (The Darkness Will Fall)”. She sent me a rough draft and then submitted this finished product a few days ago. I don’t know about you but I am completely in awe of her talent. That is watercoloring right there folks, complete with shading and intricate details, all done by hand.
This is amazing, darling, and I thank you so much for sharing it with me. It honestly made my day to see this and brought a huge smile to my face when I really needed it the most. You are seriously wonderful. Thank you.

theirhappystory:

The amazingly talented amandaecs contacted me a few weeks ago saying she was working on a piece inspired by my fic “With Our Backs to the Wall (The Darkness Will Fall)”. She sent me a rough draft and then submitted this finished product a few days ago. I don’t know about you but I am completely in awe of her talent. That is watercoloring right there folks, complete with shading and intricate details, all done by hand.

This is amazing, darling, and I thank you so much for sharing it with me. It honestly made my day to see this and brought a huge smile to my face when I really needed it the most. You are seriously wonderful. Thank you.

230 notes

makeoutinheaven:

dunebat:

coldswarkids:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
BE.

Wow.

I feel like something really important just happened

makeoutinheaven:

dunebat:

coldswarkids:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.

THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.

TIME DOES NOT EXIST.

BE.

Wow.

I feel like something really important just happened

(Source: agirlandhisplatypus)

732,890 notes

rollership:

An end to plastic packaging poisoning us and all the life that feeds off the ocean is very very possible.

worclipThis Too Shall Pass (2012) by Tomorrow Machine

Independent packaging project for perishable goods:

Is it reasonable that it takes several years for a milk carton to decompose naturally, when the milk goes sour after a week? This Too Shall Pass is a series of food packaging were the packaging has the same short life-span as the foods they contain. The package and its content is working in symbiosis.

Smoothie package
Gel of the agar agar seaweed and water are the only components used to make this package. To open it you pick the top. The package will wither at the same speed as its content. It is made for drinks that have a short life span and needs to be refrigerated, fresh juice, smoothies and cream for example.

Rice Package
Package made of biodegradable beeswax. To open it you peel it like a fruit. The package is designed to contain dry goods, for example grains and rice.

Oil package
A package made of caramelized sugar, coated with wax. To open it you crack it like an egg. When the material is cracked the wax do no longer protect the sugar and the package melts when it comes in contact with water. This package is made for oil-based food.

62,392 notes

naamah-beherit:

avengerwho:

tastefullyoffensive:

Grandma caterpillar putting on lipstick. [via]

took me a minute

yeah, but when it does, you can’t unsee it

naamah-beherit:

avengerwho:

tastefullyoffensive:

Grandma caterpillar putting on lipstick. [via]

took me a minute

yeah, but when it does, you can’t unsee it

42,096 notes

the-gallifreyan-detective:

this is my favorite blooper for the whole series and I really wanna know what he said to her that got that reaction.

(Source: stinson)

110,881 notes

icy-brunette:

infinite3scape:

Please read this. 
This is me, Practically on my deathbed, I was being fed through a tube down my nose, as well as an oxygen mask to keep me breathing. This was the photo taken after i woke up after being in an induced coma after a really serious car accident.   I know this won’t get many notes but I hope as many people can read my message, I thought my life was over, everything I’ve had to go through has been so hard but things are getting better, And i don’t think i would have been able to do this without my music, Music can really get you through everything or at least make you forget about some of the crap going on for a little bit, it really does help. Things will get better i promise, Life won’t put you through more than you can handle. I thought my life was over but I’m pulling through and I’m so grateful to be alive now, Please try and stay positive and smile when you can, enjoy your life it is yours to live. 

icy-brunette:

infinite3scape:

Please read this. 

This is me, Practically on my deathbed, I was being fed through a tube down my nose, as well as an oxygen mask to keep me breathing. This was the photo taken after i woke up after being in an induced coma after a really serious car accident.   I know this won’t get many notes but I hope as many people can read my message, I thought my life was over, everything I’ve had to go through has been so hard but things are getting better, And i don’t think i would have been able to do this without my music, Music can really get you through everything or at least make you forget about some of the crap going on for a little bit, it really does help. Things will get better i promise, Life won’t put you through more than you can handle. I thought my life was over but I’m pulling through and I’m so grateful to be alive now, Please try and stay positive and smile when you can, enjoy your life it is yours to live. 

(Source: infiinite3scape)

66,407 notes

xcgirl08:

shoujofeels:

becausetheinternet:

A 2500 year old mummy that had some amazing tattoos.

WHAT.

NO FUCKING WAY.

YO HOLD ON. 

IT GETS BETTER.

This mummy, found in the  Altai mountains of Siberia, is actually that of a young woman who died at about the age of twenty-five; she is thought to have been a member of the Pazyryk tribe.

She was buried with six horses and two similarly-tattooed men (the horned griffon that decorates her shoulder also appears on the man buried closest to her, covering most of his right side), possibly escorts. She was also wearing a horse-hair wig, silk, and elaborate boots, which is all a level of ceremony that would have likely only been accorded to a woman of high rank. You didn’t get inked like this unless you were very important, and had worked your way up to that importance. 

…Hence, of course, the references to her by researchers as ‘The Ukok Princess,’ although due to the lack of weapons in her grave they have concluded that the woman was in fact a healer or a storyteller.  

And now I’m all consumed with curiosity: Who was she? What amazing things did she accomplish? Why these symbols, and what did they mean? Who were the two men alongside her?

The most informative article about it can be found here, although I would completely eat up any other information you guys could find. 

171,782 notes